all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
