I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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