yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he thought i was a dude.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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