after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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