I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
