After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
