is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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