It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
