You're so nebulous sometimes
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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