She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
