please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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