Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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