I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
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Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
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Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.