loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.