I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
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Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
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Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.