They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?