he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10