I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
