We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
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bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
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Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I could fuck to npr.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.