Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
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I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
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Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?