ya dads aren't the best wingmen
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?