im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?