I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.