omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
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i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
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He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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