so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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