Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
