he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
