So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
