I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
