I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
