Kiss
Puke
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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