Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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