Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize