let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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