And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
