I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
