U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Sober January is a disaster.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Randomize
