I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She's the barista slut.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize