We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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