why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
