I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
