Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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