I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
