Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You pole danced in your parka.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
