dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night