I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more