She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon