Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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