So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
