All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
