I'm so fucking centered right now
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
