we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize