We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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