Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
