Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just made out with a guy for $7.
the condom got lost in my hair
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
