What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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