its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you win again, gameday.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
