Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
