but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
