You're so nebulous sometimes
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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