just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
