I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
