whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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