actually, I'm a sock model
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
