His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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