He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
