Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
